Finding Peace: How Therapy Helped My Anxiety and Family Dynamics as an Asian American Woman
Written by: Stephanie Wang
Growing up, mental health has always played a significant role in my narrative.
My name is Stephanie Wang and I am an American-Taiwanese born and raised in New York. As a first-generation Asian American, I’ve struggled with mental health, while navigating life in an immigrant family.
My childhood was marked by my father's bipolar disorder and during my high school years, I experienced anxiety and depression. Since mental health was so normalized in my family given my dad’s bipolar disorder, my family was actually open to discussing it. My father was able to relate to my mental health struggles, making me feel like it wasn’t a secret I had to keep from my family. Rather than shaming me, my family encouraged me to go to therapy. Their openness enabled me to reach out for help early on, and I’ve been seeing a therapist since high school.
Although I was able to communicate with my therapist about my childhood trauma and life experiences, I found that it was difficult for them to relate to my background and cultural dynamics. This is why after graduating high school, I set out to find an AAPI-identifying woman therapist.
However, the process was more difficult than I initially anticipated. Finding a therapist that I clicked with, checked the boxes that I wanted, was Asian American or a woman, and specialized in my specific form of trauma was rare and frustrating. Fortunately, I was lucky to find one. My therapist is compassionate and empathetic, which are traits that allow me to open up to her. I also no longer have to explain the customs in my culture– my therapist just gets it. When I’m frustrated about anything, my therapist is able to provide me with reassurance that alleviates my concerns. She’s able to make me feel less crazy for thinking that there’s something wrong with me.
Many others aren’t as fortunate as I currently am, though. Since mental health is still stigmatized today, people may feel hesitant to open up about their own struggles. Certain approaches like group therapy could make it easier for them to open up. When I did group therapy a few years ago, I was surrounded by females in the same age group as me. I felt less alone in my struggles and I found that it really helped with what I was going through at the time.
Additionally, many people don’t have access to or can’t afford therapy on a weekly basis. When I was going through a period of unemployment and couldn’t afford a therapist, I remembered that I read a lot of books and listened to podcasts. The specific books I read were by an Asian American woman who went through the exact things I did, so I felt less isolated in my struggles and was really able to heal. This is why it’s necessary to have accessible resources online that people can look for themselves. It’s also why I feel comfortable posting on online forums like Subtle Asian Mental Health.
Beyond finding outside help, here’s some advice I have for improving your mental health:
Be open to being vulnerable in sharing your stories.
Check in on your friends more! When you keep what you’re going through for yourself, you’d be surprised about how many people care about you.
Even though someone is open about sharing struggles, it doesn’t mean they healed themselves, so check in on them. Maybe they are still figuring out their traumas and the impacts of their mental health on their lives.
Learn to set boundaries. Acknowledge the struggles other people go through, but realize that the blame doesn’t have to be put on you.
Always be open to work on yourself!
Look for the light even when things like depression, anxiety, and stress makes life feel dark. For example, here are some things that bring me joy:
My struggles with mental health have always been a part of my life, but they have never defined me– and they don’t have to define you either. By seeking help, being open about your experiences, and finding supportive communities, you too can take control of your own narrative.
