Minorities Living in Majority Cultures: Free Your Mental Health
Are you someone who lives in a predominantly non-Asian space? Do you wrestle with competing expectations and value systems, as someone who lives as a minority surrounded by different majority cultures?
To reflect on these questions, Anise Health sat down with Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) May Han for a conversation about destigmatizing mental health in Asian communities. In particular, May shared insights from her experiences working with patients of Asian living in the Midwest, and dove deeper into the impact of culture and history on minority mental health for immigrants or descendants of immigrants.
Could you tell us a bit about yourself, who you are outside of work, and why you decided to become a therapist?
“I came here with an inquisitive mind trying to learn more about others and myself.”
Twelve years ago, May Han immigrated from China to study psychology in America and has lived here ever since. Despite originally studying math, May knew that she wanted to be a therapist because she always found the human mind intriguing. Hoping to better understand relationships and feelings, May continued her studies as a LMFT in-training at Northwestern University. During her time doing research, she debated between continuing a career as a LMFT or going into counseling. She ultimately chose to be a LMFT, sharing the following quote with Anise Health:
“I chose to be an LMFT because I felt very connected to Asian culture and naturally saw the interconnectedness of everything around me.”
Today, May Han is a Licensed Marriage Family Therapist (LMFT) in the states of Washington, Oregon, and Illinois. She works with individuals having relationship concerns, couples, immigrants, and adult children of immigrants.
What has been your experience working with first-generation immigrants compared to second and third generations, or non-immigrants?
“The biggest thing I’ve noticed about immigrants is their attitude towards therapy. Many immigrants don’t have exposure to therapy and would often come in confused.”
May often spends her first session with immigrants, educating them about what therapy is and how to approach it. In her practice, May notices that many immigrants of Asian descent struggle with expressing their emotions as this behavior wasn’t modeled in their childhood homes growing up. Consequently, these patients often describe their feelings in a more circuitous way, using stories and anecdotes to subtly reference their emotions or implying their true thoughts without risking offense or criticism. In doing so, May finds that it takes longer for Asian patients to come to terms with their genuine feelings or accept that these sentiments are valid in their own right. Additionally, first generation Asian immigrants sometimes ask May “what would she do” or even refer to her as “teacher,” thus illustrating their belief that therapists are simply there to “solve problems” for patients in a very tactical way.
In contrast, May notices that the subsequent generation tends to be more familiar with the flow and benefits of therapy since they were more likely to grow up with the language and understanding of how therapy works. Because many of these second, third, or future generations grew up in America, they became more open and accepting to psychological support. However, they wrestled with their own tensions, including acculturative stress which is the feeling of pressure to belong to multiple cultures without failing either. These clients had to confront the degree to which they were more “Americanized” than the first generation, while also deciding how to address these conflicts with their knowledge of mental health services.
Have you seen notable trends in your private practice of working with Asians in the Midwest?
“Asians in the Midwest tend to be more isolated in their experiences.”
Being an Asian in the Midwest means that you are likely a minority when it comes to race and other socioeconomic factors. In her private practice, May often hears that her Asian clients struggle more with feeling like outsiders or “othered.” It isn’t uncommon that her clients are one of the only Asian students in the entire grade at their school. These experiences tend to make Asians in the Midwest more muted and withdrawn as a population that “suffers in silence.” This is an experience that May personally resonates with as an individual, not just a clinician.
“Being different is normalized for me.”
When May came to America to study psychology, she was placed in a classroom full of non-immigrants while earning her undergraduate’s degree. In fact, she was the only international student in the entire year of her program, with most other Asian immigrants at her school appearing to enter into business or computer science programs. These observations do not discourage May. Instead, May hopes to do more research to reduce this stigma that immigrant parents, primarily Asian parents, have in recommending a limited range of “successful and stable jobs” for their children with the ultimate objective of increasing the number of Asian professionals who are familiar with the immigrant experience within the mental healthcare sector.
What are unique trends and stressors that are more applicable to Midwest Asians rather than Asians on the West or East Coast?
“Asians on the West Coast are more confident about embracing being a minority.”
As May reflects on her experience living in both the Midwest and on the US Coasts, acknowledging the generalization, she reveals the sense that Asians residing on the East and West Coast might be more communal, seeming to exude an “I’m a minority, but so what” mindset. By being more open in their experiences, these patients are also more open minded about shaping themselves.
“Asians in the Midwest tend to be more reserved and traditional.”
Unlike their coastal counterparts, Asians in the Midwest tend to shy away from being more vocal about their experiences as a minority. May noticed that most of her Asian clients from the Midwest have more weight, and struggle more quietly with the weight they carry as a minority, such as internalized racism, guilt and shame, that prevents them from breaking free. Since they are more family-oriented and religious, these clients often have trauma stemming from these experiences, resulting in more difficulties for Asian patients in the Midwest to fully accept themselves and nurture self-compassion.
Living as a minority in a majority culture is difficult. How can people of Asian descent navigate this to live more authentic lives?
“Make sure you surround yourself with people who help you feel accepted, loved, and respected.”
May reminds us that there will be offensive comments that may make you feel “othered.” However, it is important to remind ourselves that those offensive comments they make are more of a reflection on them, not on us. Never is it our fault or responsibility when they fail to understand diversity or equality and treat others with self-righteousness. She reminds everyone to offer ourselves self-care and kindness. It is already difficult enough living as a minority, no need to carry other’s lack of awareness on our back. It is important to surround ourselves with individuals and communities who are willing to understand and respect our culture.
“It’s about freeing yourself and learning who you can turn to.”
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Follow May Han @Spark Relational Counseling or for counseling in Oregon, Washington, and Illinois go to https://www.spark-counseling.com/
Written by Anise Health (authors Emerald Yee, Angel Wang) a culturally-responsive mental health platform for the Asian community. Learn more about Anise Health's clinical care model and 1:1 culturally-responsive services available in California and New York on our website here. If you live elsewhere in the US, are looking for something a bit lighter touch, or run an organization that wants to partner with us - be sure to also check out our peer support circles and other group services, including psychoeducational webinars, interactive workshops, and more!
