Signs That You Could Use Some Support
Written by: Naomi Yu
It’s been a difficult chapter of the global timeline. The last few years have not only caused new challenges but also highlighted underlying issues that many of us have been dealing with all along. What used to be the norm is increasingly unbearable and people are struggling.
How do you decide when it’s time to seek professional help? For many people, especially from communities of color, professional mental health support still carries a negative association. “That’s only for crazy people”, we often believe. “It’s not that bad”, we insist, “There’s nothing wrong with me, I just need to get over it.” We wonder, “What would my parents say if they found out?”
Sure, your life isn’t falling apart. Everything seems harder and you know you’re not happy, but you’re still holding down your job. You have friends and family so everything is okay…right?
Therapy, coaching, or other forms of mental health care are not a last resort. If you have the means, it can give you a safe space to figure out why things feel so hard lately. Providers can also help you develop skills to make managing your life a little easier for long-term well-being. With a culturally-responsive clinician (like one that you would be matched to at Anise), therapy can also help you better understand how your culture impacts your beliefs, behaviors, and patterns. Coaching helps you translate what you’re learning about yourself into realistic and tangible actions to make positive lasting changes.
Don’t wait until it feels like things are on fire to reach out. Here are some under-recognized signs that it might be time to talk to a provider:
You feel too tired to do the things you used to enjoy.
You have aches or pains that can’t be explained by injury or other health conditions.
Even when you have free time, you can’t fully relax.
Your thoughts keep racing at night so you have a hard time sleeping.
Having to make a decision, even where to eat for dinner, fills you with dread.
You feel numb.
Conversely, even the small things bother you a lot.
Despite your best efforts to “get over it”, you keep obsessing over a certain problem or memory.
The thought of responding to messages, even from loved ones, feels exhausting.
You find yourself escaping into TV shows or your social media.
You feel really emotional but you don’t want to burden your friends.
Even if you tried to talk to someone, you wouldn’t be able to find the words to express your feelings.
You feel jumpier than usual.
You find yourself fantasizing in your head about running away to start your life over.
You’re having more arguments with people you care about.
You’re feeling more disconnected from others.
You react poorly when people question you or try to give you feedback, even if they have good intentions.
Navigating social situations feels hard.
You have trouble focusing, whether you’re at work, with friends, or trying to do your hobbies.
Your response to stress is to apply more pressure on yourself so that you get it together.
You feel stuck in the same patterns and can’t get yourself to change.
Even if nothing new has happened or there’s no big change, you get the feeling that it would be helpful to have somebody to help you process your day-to-day or to keep you accountable.
Ultimately, there is no minimum bar that you need to meet in order for therapy or coaching to be helpful. What if asking for help didn’t mean that we were broken, but just human? What if we didn’t wait until a crisis to take action, but instead viewed mental health services as preventative care? Even if you could survive without it, what if therapy and coaching could make your life just a little easier? If you would want that for your best friend, why not for yourself too?
Author’s Bio
Naomi Yu (she/her) is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (CA - LMFT#110092) and Registered Art Therapist (ATR) based in the San Francisco Bay Area and Portland, OR. She is a psychotherapist with Anise Health. She also has a private practice and leads groups/workshops in corporate, nonprofit, and community settings. In addition, Naomi serves on the Advisory Circle for New Seneca Village, a nonprofit network offering restorative retreats for cis, trans and non-binary Black, Indigenous and women of color leaders.
