The Model Minority Myth and Our Mental Health: An Interview with Prachi Gupta
Written by: Anise Health
Prachi Gupta is the author of They Called Us Exceptional: And Other Lies that Raised Us, a memoir about growing up in an Indian American family as the daughter of immigrants. She describes how the model minority myth created tension between who she was supposed to be and who she actually was and recounts the trauma of living under immense pressure to be perfect. In an interview with Anise Health, Prachi elaborates upon some of the themes explored in the book: addressing shame, isolation, minority stress, and the journey of healing by working with a culturally competent therapist.
Asian cultures often value “saving face” and not bringing shame to the family, which can result in suppressing real stories that could be perceived as vulnerable and dishonorable. Why did you decide to share your story?
For many of us, this pressure to “save face” comes from our ethnic cultures, but it also comes from American culture and society through stereotypes like the “model minority myth.” By sharing my story, I wanted to show how alienating, challenging, and confusing it is to experience trauma and conflict while facing immense pressure to “save face” or present an image of perfection. I wanted to show that there is a real psychological, mental health cost to suppressing our experiences, and that it also harms our intimate relationships. Many of us learn to suppress our emotions and repress our pain because—especially in immigrant families—it helps us fit in or feel more secure, but the truth is that this repression damages us and our families in the long run. I wanted to break through that barrier to show people that there’s another way for us to navigate the world as children of immigrants.
Why do you think Asian Americans struggle with accessing mental healthcare services that actually work for people like us? What is your perspective on the role that culturally-responsive mental healthcare plays in underrepresented communities?
There are so many reasons for this. As you have pointed out, within our own ethnic cultures, there’s often a tendency to “save face” and repress emotions, which creates a barrier. There is also, however, warranted wariness and skepticism around what mental health really is, and whom it serves. Western mental healthcare is very Eurocentric and its model separates the mind from the body; it does not take into consideration the effects of a political or social system on an individual—like racism or sexism or xenophobia. It also presents everything in English, and many providers pathologize Asian cultures. Tools like therapy are really only effective when you are working with a provider that you can trust, and it’s very hard to find that for most Asian Americans.
Additionally, many Asian immigrant communities in America know what it’s like to live under surveillance, or deal with violence and hate crimes, and in this context, being seen as “mentally ill” is being seen as a threat. For many families, it’s often safer to just try to deal with a problem internally, rather than seek outside help. Conversely, in American culture—again due to the model minority myth—we are often seen as not having problems, which affects the kind of services available and how our communities are studied. Many Asian American groups are often left out of research on mental healthcare, so it’s very hard to know what our communities might need. Culturally responsive healthcare is extremely important and necessary. I am a living testament to that.
How are you processing the stress of being a debut author? What has been the reception from your family, friends, and peers after your book’s publication?
I’ve been working towards a singular goal for years, and after the release, I felt a rush of excitement, but I also experienced a lot of guilt, shame, stress, anxiety, and even a sort of emptiness and a feeling of “now what do I do with myself?” I knew that I needed to give myself a new goal—one that was totally different from writing a book, and one that would help me be more embodied and present—so I took up weightlifting. I have been a runner most of my life; I ran cross country in high school and college, and then ran marathons in my 20s. But weightlifting is important for injury prevention, and I had no experience with that, so I decided to train. I didn’t expect it to take me on a new journey and spiral into so many other positive changes in my life, including improving my mental health and mood and confidence.
In terms of feedback, the reception has been really incredible. I wrote this book to help people heal and help people in our communities feel seen, and it’s amazing to know that my story can help so many people. It motivates me to keep doing this work and seeking authenticity.
What was it like to see a culturally competent therapist who understood your cultural upbringing, and worked with you as a unique individual with many intersectional identities?
I could not have written my book without the work that I did with my therapist, who is an Indian American feminist and Buddhist. In my book, I show how therapy is not a cure-all. It’s a very vulnerable thing, and working with a provider who doesn’t understand you or who makes assumptions about your background can cause more damage. Rather than working to “fix” what is “wrong,” over the past 7 years she has helped me see that I am not broken—I am whole, and my perspectives and feelings are valid. It has become a space where I learned how to trust myself, regulate my emotions, and understand what it means to be at peace and to love myself.
What advice do you have for members of our Asian community?
That thing that makes you different, feel alone, or that you have been taught to suppress, is actually the thing that you need to lean into. It is scary, but if you are willing to do that, you will grow tremendously and you will enter a journey of learning how to love yourself.
In partnership with Anise Health, Prachi is giving away free copies of her book for the first 5 people who sign-up for Anise Health’s services after reading this interview. To redeem it:
Complete the intake form here (~5 minutes to complete)
In the section "How did you hear about us?" select “Other” and then write Prachi Gupta
You’ll receive an email with recommended providers in less than 2 business days
Schedule a complimentary trial consultation or start your monthly subscription right away
That’s it! If you are one of the first 5 people to apply, we’ll ship the book to you at your preferred address, which we will confirm with you via email.
Prachi Gupta is an award-winning journalist and former senior reporter at Jezebel. She won a Writers Guild Award for her investigative essay “Stories About My Brother.” Her work was featured in The Best American Magazine Writing 2021 and has appeared in The Atlantic, The Washington Post Magazine, Marie Claire, Salon, Elle, and elsewhere.
